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Gran Turismo 5: Epilogue Review*


Welcome to the fast paced world of racing.  This months review is for the much anticipated game Gran Turismo 5's conclusion that wasn't shipped with the game, Gran Turismo 5: Epilogue.  Unlike it's 2 predecessors (GT5:Prologue and GT5) this game includes everything that wasn't included in both editions.  And it's F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!

Who would have thought that an incomplete racing game could be so much fun.  Considering that there was only racing in GT5:Prologue, and a decent mix of racing and tuning in GT5 (The actual game), this "build your own race car out of parts you bought off of PSN" game has absolutely no racing at all.  This is slightly confusing in the online multi-player, but we'll get to that later.  The level of customization is like no other game I have experienced.
You start off the game in a parts store (kind of like a Cosco or a really big NAPA) with $50,000 in cash and a list of the necessary parts you are going to need to start your vehicle:
  • Chassis
  • Drivetrain
  • Wheels
  • Tires
  • Glass
  • Body Parts (all sold separately)
  • Engine
  • Everything else
"Everything else" means exactly that.  You have to buy all of the parts for you vehicle.  Windshield wipers don't include the motors to drive them, the drivetrain all has to be bought in every separate piece.  If the car is old enough to need a carburetor, you have to buy all of the little pieces.  You can even buy a manual on how to put the vehicle together.  This can be a little daunting at first, but eventually it ends up completely daunting and extremely tedious.  And then comes the fun part.
The fun part is assembling everything in your virtual driveway.  Depending on the real time of year and your global location determines the weather in the game (sorry Northern Canada).  Remember the manual that you can buy?  That helps a lot when assembling your car by hand.  As a matter of fact, I had to go back to the online store and buy one just so I could get started.  Once I got everything assembled it was time to test it. And what a better way to test your super car than to put it on a testing machine (you thought I was going to say drive it, didn't you).  The testing machine gives the user the complete stat list of their car and then compares it to other users around the world.
There isn't much to the online part of GT5: Epilogue.  It mostly consists of online parts bidding and selling.  You need a carburetor and don't want to assemble it?  Then you can go and buy it.  Don't expect it to be cheap, as a pre-assembled carburetor sells between $50 and $3000.  Did I mention that the only way to get extra money in the game is to buy it?  That's right, if you need $3000 for a carburetor then just give them your credit card and it'll charge three grand to it.  That's only if you aren't outbid by another player in the GT5: Epilogue universe (multiplayer anyone?).  Sounds like someone could make a fair amount of cash by assembling car parts and then selling them for a higher price.  Wrong.  You can do this but all of the money you make stays in the game.  This sounds really lame, but a person gets used to it.  You do get sick of it after spending $12 grand on a car that you can't drive (but that's half the fun!).
  • Let's wrap this up and give it a score:
  • Building really cool cars:  5
  • Having to build every piece of the car:  -3
  • Unlimited Parts:  2
  • Having to pay for all of those parts:  -2
  • Having to pay real money:  -6
  • Cutting Edge Graphics: 2
  • Customizable Soundtracks:  0 (this should be in every game)
  • Taking customization to the next level:  -2
  • Bleeding Gran Turismo fans of all their hard earned money by selling incomplete games before and after the real game has been released:  -4
Total Score:  0
My advice:  Wait until Gran Turismo 6: Epilogue comes out in ten years so all of the bugs can be worked out.

* disclaimer:  This is a fake "review" and should be taken as cynicism and good plain fun.

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