Skip to main content

Gran Turismo 5: Epilogue Review*


Welcome to the fast paced world of racing.  This months review is for the much anticipated game Gran Turismo 5's conclusion that wasn't shipped with the game, Gran Turismo 5: Epilogue.  Unlike it's 2 predecessors (GT5:Prologue and GT5) this game includes everything that wasn't included in both editions.  And it's F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!

Who would have thought that an incomplete racing game could be so much fun.  Considering that there was only racing in GT5:Prologue, and a decent mix of racing and tuning in GT5 (The actual game), this "build your own race car out of parts you bought off of PSN" game has absolutely no racing at all.  This is slightly confusing in the online multi-player, but we'll get to that later.  The level of customization is like no other game I have experienced.
You start off the game in a parts store (kind of like a Cosco or a really big NAPA) with $50,000 in cash and a list of the necessary parts you are going to need to start your vehicle:
  • Chassis
  • Drivetrain
  • Wheels
  • Tires
  • Glass
  • Body Parts (all sold separately)
  • Engine
  • Everything else
"Everything else" means exactly that.  You have to buy all of the parts for you vehicle.  Windshield wipers don't include the motors to drive them, the drivetrain all has to be bought in every separate piece.  If the car is old enough to need a carburetor, you have to buy all of the little pieces.  You can even buy a manual on how to put the vehicle together.  This can be a little daunting at first, but eventually it ends up completely daunting and extremely tedious.  And then comes the fun part.
The fun part is assembling everything in your virtual driveway.  Depending on the real time of year and your global location determines the weather in the game (sorry Northern Canada).  Remember the manual that you can buy?  That helps a lot when assembling your car by hand.  As a matter of fact, I had to go back to the online store and buy one just so I could get started.  Once I got everything assembled it was time to test it. And what a better way to test your super car than to put it on a testing machine (you thought I was going to say drive it, didn't you).  The testing machine gives the user the complete stat list of their car and then compares it to other users around the world.
There isn't much to the online part of GT5: Epilogue.  It mostly consists of online parts bidding and selling.  You need a carburetor and don't want to assemble it?  Then you can go and buy it.  Don't expect it to be cheap, as a pre-assembled carburetor sells between $50 and $3000.  Did I mention that the only way to get extra money in the game is to buy it?  That's right, if you need $3000 for a carburetor then just give them your credit card and it'll charge three grand to it.  That's only if you aren't outbid by another player in the GT5: Epilogue universe (multiplayer anyone?).  Sounds like someone could make a fair amount of cash by assembling car parts and then selling them for a higher price.  Wrong.  You can do this but all of the money you make stays in the game.  This sounds really lame, but a person gets used to it.  You do get sick of it after spending $12 grand on a car that you can't drive (but that's half the fun!).
  • Let's wrap this up and give it a score:
  • Building really cool cars:  5
  • Having to build every piece of the car:  -3
  • Unlimited Parts:  2
  • Having to pay for all of those parts:  -2
  • Having to pay real money:  -6
  • Cutting Edge Graphics: 2
  • Customizable Soundtracks:  0 (this should be in every game)
  • Taking customization to the next level:  -2
  • Bleeding Gran Turismo fans of all their hard earned money by selling incomplete games before and after the real game has been released:  -4
Total Score:  0
My advice:  Wait until Gran Turismo 6: Epilogue comes out in ten years so all of the bugs can be worked out.

* disclaimer:  This is a fake "review" and should be taken as cynicism and good plain fun.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PGR4 (or Thank God I Rented this Game!)

Project Gotham Racing 4 (PGR4) is a racing game by Microsoft Games Studios and Bizzare Creations. From what I had been hearing this wasn't a bad game. I figured instead of dropping $60 on a game I hadn't been anticipating, I would rent it. And thank God I did! I'm not saying that PGR4 is a bad game, it's not. I'm just iterating that it's boring. I guess if I had been more excited, like I was for Forza 2 (pronounced "Fortza Too"), getting into this game would not have been a problem. But it was. I've had the game for 3 days and have played it twice. And I've only really enjoyed myself once. I'm not a big fan of losing my first race, or my second race, or my third race, or my...well, I think you get it by now. Normally with a slightly difficult game I really wouldn't have a problem, but it's a freakin' racing game! I'm slightly good at racing games, I don't lose races until it starts getting hard. I'm n...
2 comments
Read more

How to be Depressed.

  I am clinically depressed.   If you look up the checklist (from  www.uclahealth.org/resnick/checklist-for-depression ) you will find the following list: Depressive mood.  Do you suffer from feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, or pessimism for days at a time? Sleep disturbance.  Do you have trouble falling asleep at night or trouble staying asleep, or are waking up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning? Are you sleeping too much? Chronically fatigued.  Do you frequently feel tired or lack energy? Isolation.  Have you stopped meeting with family or friends? Increasing isolation and diminished interest or pleasure in activities are major signs of depression. Appetite disturbance.  Are you eating far less than usual—or far more? Severe and continuing appetite disturbance is often an indication of depression. Inability to concentrate.  If you can't seem to f...
Post a Comment
Read more

Altered Weapon, Redux. (or "How I am learning to love myself, and you can too."

I always thought that I could be someone great. Whether it be a famous actor, millionaire, business mogul, or anything else. The sky was the limit. Ability was never the issue. I have ability for days. I'm sure you feel the same way. There is nothing that we cannot do, no mountain we cannot climb, no obstacle that we cannot overcome. But that isn't the truth. That is far from it. The truth is that I am lost. Unhappy, unsatisfied, and searching for meaning, I've never been given direction, never been coached, never had someone take the time to invest in my ability. This sucks. If you are feeling the same way, I am so sorry. That is painful. That is the world we live in. But what can we do about it? What can I do? We can share our knowledge. We can give what we have not received. Advice. There are people out there who are in our shoes, only younger. The combined knowledge we have has the possibility of changing a person's life. It can make them successful. It can save t...
Post a Comment
Read more